NO BOSSES, NO BOYFRIENDS would like to know what you think. Every Wednesday we’ll post a question for y’all to ponder and discuss amongst ya’selves. Got a question you’d like to see answered? Shoot us an email at nobosses@ noboyfriends.org. Here we go!
What’s your take on or experience with polyamory? An expression of revolutionary love, a display of selfish hedonism, or an easy out for players? How do you make it work for you?
A choice, not a revolutionary requirement. A person’s inclination to polyamory does not make or break their commitment to struggle. Anyone who argues otherwise can kiss my ass of impatience.
I personally think that it’s difficult enough (in the sense of time and attention) but intensely amazing to commit oneself to a single person seriously, and so, how can I think it possible for me to do the same with 2+ people?
Polyamory has crossed my mind when I did not want to make serious commitments and did not understand what love meant anyway. It was a way for me to have it every way and seem aloof and virile. Yes, I was after the masculine power ideal, though I’m a woman.
However, I could see this being practiced more in a society that isn’t full of such flawed moral characters.
I found out monogamy doesn’t work for me. My options were: fall for one person, and resent them forever because I would always crave their opposite sex. I could never be happy with just a man, or just a woman. At some point, I missed the other half. It is absolutely about love, and my personal experience with it shows a whole lot of selfish on every end, but so far so good. I have no intention of ever going back to love restricted.
My experience with polyamory has been a difficult one, mostly agreed to out of a desire to hold onto a person I had singular affection for, but they did not feel the same. In my experience polyamory simultaneously fills desires and creates new ones. I agree with Gatanegra’s opinions. It seems to lack conviction for me, but that has only been my experience. I’m loyal to a fault.
I am admittedly resentful toward the idea of polyamory, as I have been in a very similar situation to Maggie, for over a year. I am involved with a manarchist that still sees his ex-gf, and this bothers me. I’ve tried to embrace the idea of sharing a man, while still being open myself to seeing othe people, yet I continiously feel unsatisfied…mostly, because I want more attention.